AstroSmash

Remember when game controllers had cool overlays and the horror you felt when you lost them? How would you play the game then? It was almost impossible. The next thing you know you are chucking the 100lb system at your brother then running off into your sisters room to tear the heads off Barbie dolls in a bitter rage! Die Barbie, Die! I mean… that’s what somebody told me they did…(looks both ways for disgruntled parents). Ahhh no dad, not in the face…

The funny thing is that I’ve never owned an Intellivision system before. My dad bought about 20 games, new in the box when they were discounting them but we never managed to get the bloody system. I know that’s gotta upset some Intellivision nerds. Maybe one day I can play them in their fully glory on a system of my very own! (Donations in the rear please, wait that sounds bad)

I did play Astrosmash on the controller handicapped Intellivision Lives collection on the PS2. It seemed like a more graphically advanced version of Space Invaders without the invaders. But I really did dig the space! Kind of like a zoomed in version of a NES game that appears on the GBA. Super Mario Brothers I’m looking at you with my nerd goggles fully on.

The ship on the overlay, well, it looks like a male instrument of impregnation right? (Duke Nukem asks if somebody needs him. No Duke. Go bother Cliff Bleszinski. Heard he’s having some vomiting effects of players using the camera in Gears series). Well I’m off to space to fight some aliens….huh? O…well then I will kill me some giant rocks! Fuck ya! A system heavy as a rock that allows you to shoot rocks! The 80’s rock!

No ancient video games were harmed in the making of this blog post. Although the whereabouts of Astrosmash still remain a mystery to this very day.
-SDR

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