It was announced that Apple has banned and removed civil war games from it’s store. Not that anything on the Apple store is actually worth playing, but this move is totally De Bunked!
They are citing that the confederate army’s rebel flag, not confederate flag as it’s often mislabeled and understood, is causing a bunch of hoopla and making people kill each other. No mention of gun violence though.
The red herring argument about the rebel flag being removed has reached mass hysteria. And the real reasons why the officials are pushing this is being lost in all the politically rhetoric.
We at De Bunker have a list of further removals that need to be started immediately. We are offended, we want attention and re-election! We are offended at the color orange because it’s part of the rebel flag and will use it as our own red herring. They do say politicians lead by example. So follow we must!
We could start by banning objects that are solely designed to kill people and have killed millions since their first invention or not give these objects to cops. But we have other agendas, plus it’s almost election season. Enjoy the list!
10 ORANGE COLORED ITEMS THAT SHOULD BE BANNED!
Ban the color orange. – That’s right Sun or Sol, whatever your name is. Get out of here. We don’t need you!
Ban the Cincinnati Bengals and Cleveland Browns. – Really, nobody will miss them anyways.
Ban orange balls in the NBA. – All balls will now be official USA Red, White and Blue. Who cares if two of those colors are on the rebel flag? Ban slam dunks while you are it. I know they are not orange but come-on man.
Ban Florida oranges – They will now be dyed with special cancer causing ink to the color blue.
Ban Halloween – Pink arm bands and cancer awareness that really does nothing but make companies money has pretty much taken over Halloween anyways.
Ban Irish people – Yep, they have orange hair, They’ve got to to. Guinness can stay.
Ban sunsets – Yep, between 2 hours before and after the sunset all citzens will not be allowed to look at the setting sun.
Ban Little Nemo – Yep kiddos, he’s an orange clown fish. Hope he likes a nice dose of nitrogen in his fish bowl!
Ban Construction Cones – This will really help clear up the streets. Sometimes they are seen at the same location for years at a time.
Notable pop-culture icons now banned include : Jim Carrey as the Riddler, Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka, Carrot Top, Fry from Futurama, That chick from the movie frozen, Ariel The Little Mermaid will be stranded on a beach while The Lion King will be shot and skinned for his fur. Which is also illegal to wear.
Don’t you just love ‘MERICA!