You now have a booger on your face.

This is going to be the start of some pickup, haul, loot, booty, grabs, digs and what other word you use to buying things that you really don’t need. I see some gamers call these sort of things pickups. They use some slang like “I was out and saw it so I picked it up.” As if the games are just free waiting to be handed to you like a restraining order. All you gotta do is push your luck just a bit too far and bam! You get one. For free! Can’t even say that about DLC!

This generic calling of buying something as pickups is often followed by describing the games as “only costing a few bucks”. The trends keep going in the comments section as no YouTube retro-gaming video would be complete without somebody saying something like “I used to play the shit out of that as a kid!” It’s important that either the word crap or shit is used in their short pointless comment. Anybody else notice this trend in gamer pickups, ahhhh see what I mean!
Anyways, I found a really great thrift store about an hour away from my super-hero hideout! I might not go there very often or ever again but they had tons of great DVDs and games for only $2 apiece. That’s not that great for the DVDs but for the games it was way better than an Aquaman wet dream!

I got three games from there and one that I really wanted. There is the headless Lara Croft featured on the box cover for Tomb Raider : Underworld. Even the bewbs are being covered up! Where’s the trademark cleavage? This must be a terrible game then, says my 13 year self. I bet the illustrator of that picture of Lara is soooooooo pisssed that they cut her head off! That’s a total Ze Bunk there for ya readers! Let’s start a hashtag chain #headlesscroft to give the illustrator proper credit and restore Lara’s beautiful head.

Secondly in this haul thingy, I got Carnival Games. You know, the game that has over 250 games! Oooo, it says prizes on the box says instead of games. This game only has a handful of games. Slide of marketing hand there Cat Daddy Games. Another classic Ze Bunk found! This was a nice idea for a game that really ended up crashing a lot of Wii systems. Am I right gamers? It got to the point where I was afraid to play the thing because it might make my Wii burn up like a toaster with an SOS pad jammed in it! Don’t ask.

The last game of this lot is Endless Ocean, which has many invisible walls. That’s hardly endless at all. Another easy Ze Bunk for you gamers! It’s got triple-D features! Look on the box for yourself and see! And it’s rated E! Holy non-open minded Christian moms watch out! Oooooo man, they are dive, discover, and dream. Just the kind of fun and excitement I expect in a game, the ability to dream. Hopefully I won’t have to be dreaming about another and better game when I try this one out.

Those are the newest additions to the game library. If you’ve played them write below and share your memories of these games. Thanks for reading and check back soon for another update. – SDR

 

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